Wanting vs Needing

Some thoughts on wanting which has been coming up for most of my clients this week.

There is a difference between wanting something and needing something.

Pause for a moment and think about something (you think) you need.

Now think about something you want, but don’t necessarily need.

What do you notice? How does needing feel and how does wanting feel?

For me, when I think I need something, there is a pressure and certain anxiety that forms internally. When I want something, without needing it (hello Hawaii), I feel inspired and excited.


Hold that thought and let’s dive into some resources.


First, read these 2 articles:

Part 1 – From my coach Gary Mahler.

I want that

Part 2 – From my coach mentor Karen Pery.

When Gary Says “I Want That”

Can you see how wanting is a creative act?!

Another resource that really opened things up for me was this from Dan Sullivan:

Wanting What You Want

Dan’s book and audiobook on the topic are well worth a listen.


He sums up the difference:

Needers (99% of people)

  • are externally motivated
  • seek security
  • have a scarcity mindset
  • are reactive

Wanters (1% of people)

  • are internally motivated
  • pursue freedom
  • have an abundance attitude
  • are creative

The Daily Practice

To put this into practice, here is my process and what I recommend you test out for yourself.

Every day, I sit quietly for 5 minutes minimum and ask myself what I want. I write my list of wants without judgement and at the end, I write:

  • I want these things because I want them.
  • I don’t need them, I want them.
  • The reason I want them is because I want them.

When I look back through my book (see picture below), I am amazed at the number of things that have come into being, even though I do not focus on the outcome. I didn’t need these things, I WANTED them.

How amazing to be free of the pressure of need!

To wanting!

What do you want?

Surfing Elephant Dreams

I was talking to a client today about turning dreams into projects by taking baby steps.

They mentioned “how to eat an elephant” (one bite at a time) which naturally lead to searches for animated gifs of the surfing elephant.

Here is the whole movie for your enjoyment.

Here’s to your dream and taking action towards it today. Keep paddling out, keep catching waves. Stay stoked! 🌊

So stoked to help people create the adventure of their lives. If you have a surfing elephant of a dream and want some help bringing that into reality, let’s talk.